A Few Reasons Why I Deserve Some Free Kardashian Swag

diendoosine · Scavanger Joined: 13 May 2015 Posts: 2

I am one of the Kardashian/Jenner crew’s biggest supporters. Not because I harbor intense feelings about them on either side of the adora/loathe spectrum, but because of all the free press that I send their way. Kim Kardashian posts a selfie? I write a story on society’s obsession with social media. Kendall Jenner steps out of her house? A 1,000 word think piece on millenials in this day in age.

So when DASH, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe’s first foray into retail (and their longest lasting; RIP Kardashians for Sears), launched e-commerce, I had reached my last straw with the famous family. I’m fed up with them using my inconsequential clout, at least in comparison to their, and getting nothing in return. One time I got to go to an event that Kim and Khloe attended and all they did was stand around in their sexy outfits and take pictures making me feel bad about my horrible social skills and flat ass. At least I got a goodie bag from that experience, a suite of their hair products, and I actually use them and they make my hair look amazing.

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So this time around, I’m asking for, NO, demanding compensation for my hard work. I’d love this $274 crop top, or $198 striped tank, but I’d also settle for something from the DASH brand. I’m a big fan of the $106 Kris & Kim & Khloe & Kourtney & Kendall & Kylie & Kanye (poor Rob and Bruce) Brian Lichtenberg sweatshirt (in gold not white lettering), but an $18 matte DASH water bottle would do.

Kris Jenner’s assistant’s assistant: Reach out to me on Twitter @ltnumberone and I’ll send you my shipping information.

diendoosine · Scavanger Joined: 13 May 2015 Posts: 2

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